Tuesday, September 28, 2010

A posse ad esse (from possibility to reality)

When I first thought about beginning to knit, I was excited and went wild with idea of my possible projects. However, when I actually began, all I felt was frustration. It took a lot of time and is still taking time for me to create my knitting “rhythm.” I am constantly unraveling and starting over because I would lose the rhythm which results in a hole in the scarf or a clear difference in tension. I started to investigate what it is that was causing me to get “offbeat” and become frustrated. So this weekend at a retreat, I started jotting down all the possibilities that were inhibiting the completion or even continuation of my projects: Did I hate the yarn? Did I hate the pattern? Was I resenting the project as a whole? Was I unhappy with the class I was making it for? Was I scared of something? What is it?!

The last questioned stuck with me for a few minutes. It was my fear of turning in anything with a mistake. So I came to realize something pretty cool about knitting-- it’s a human activity. It’s perfectly acceptable to have it look like a human made it. My sister was really kind and told me knitted things are very much like their makers in that they have a way of looking beautiful, despite the flaws.

So, as I am working on my red scarf project, I am very excited about the process of making it a reality again. All I had to do was find out within myself why I had lost that feeling and why I allowed frustration to take over!

1 comment:

  1. Ah, a fellow perfectionist. I feel your pain. But knitting, crocheting, and perfectionism all get better with time.